these days.. i’m not in a good condition.. especially today.. i had stomach-ache and i keep goin to da wash room.. haihzz.. i didnt remember what i ate yesterday.. my whole body wasnt feel good neither.. wth?!!
orite.. it is almost 3 am in the morning n i cant sleep.. again!!! y do i hv this weird kind of habits? is this called habit? or penyakit? hukhukhuk.. maybe i was the one who thinking too much! arghhhhhhh!! can i shut down my brain just for 1 hours? that will be enough for me to stop thinking and get rid off those thoughts that bothering n disturbing my life~! dammit! i cant even sleep!!
i was terribly sad just now.. now pun also lar.. i donnoe.. crazy i think.. n i was crying til death just now.. what for? i dont even know! crying 4 sumthing that i did wrong? or for sumthing that i should never bother of?? apa bha ne?!!! arghhh!! all i need just ‘realizing my attendance’.. kunun.. buang masa! [padahal dlm ati mo jgk.. lol.. dasar!] ahh! whatever~
i cried n cried n cried.. i’m getting sick of crying.. but lama uda x cry2.. so best jgk lar rasa cmni.. this is sum kind of stabilizing our emotion process.. sowhateverlah.. but this time, i cried too much til i got asthma n sesak nafas.. wth?!!! it have been so long.. xD! [r u nuts? y am i still laughing at this condition? i dunnoe..].. i really wish i could go sumwhere to release my tensionn.. i really wish he was here.. xD~ [what r thinking oo?~]
sumtyms, when it came up like this.., i would frequently ask myself.. r u regretting for what had u done? do u wanna rewind the tym? my answer is ‘NO!’.. I dont wanna rewind the tym nor change anything.. i’m very grateful for what i have now.. really.. it doesnt matter.. i only wanted to continue living like this.. i hope so.. i hope my tym wont end too soon..
mumbling bebeling.. haihz.. i missed sumone so badly right now.. really.. i really wanted to call him but, hahaxX! my crdt was very2 low at the moment n i dont have chances to top up my acc.. malas lar mo cari reload uda at this hour.. but if by any chance, i have a lot of creditS, i wont call him or msg him neither.. why? why r u asking me? cant u see? its already 3:17 am.. n he is sleeping.. why on earth i want to call him if he got to go to work 2moro morning? haihz.. agak2 lar bha..
sum kind of depressing here.. all i want is him.. i want him to call me.. [ahh.. harapan yg xpasti.. urang uda tdo mcm2 lar ko sana azwani].. hohoho~!biarlaa.. tunggu ja lar sapa2 yg mo call ko.. hahahha.. xD~! whatever.. better goin to sleep after eating painkillers, my friend..
weather forecast for today is depressing.. xD~! i supposed to be happy cuz RAYA is coming soon but i dont have da mood to celebrate it.. i dunnoe why.. is it because of those assignments that is not yet completed? huh! curse u tasks!!
y am i always keeping messing up with my mind? y am i always cari pasal? y am i always making trouble.. is it me? is it really me??? ahhh.. u r soooooooo bad azwani.. u cant do this! stop acting with ur stupido emotion n dont let ur heart control ur mind!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! y r u keep doing the same mistakes all over again in ur life azwani!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! u'll end up losing everything if u keep ur attitude like this!!!
owh ya.. i remembered.. i dreamt of sumthing weird a few days ago.. in my dream, i was asked by a lecturer to draw something and colour it with a crayon [ahaha! A CRAYON??!! 1 JA CRAYON KENA SUH PAKAI??!!].. kidding.. correction, CRAYONS! at the beginning i dont have any idea what should i draw.. so i just sat and watched my friends draw on their own paper.. n i’m not going to give my work to the lecturer cuz malas mo buat..! but then.. the idea came up so clearly n i started to draw a moon, stars, hills, river and a bridge.. why was i drawing like that? y did i choose black colour as my background instead of colourful picture.. i think there’re hidden clues that my dreams telling me.. owh ya.. about da drawing.. later i sketch on photoshop n upload it here.. =)..
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